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CONSUMER
WARNING
by
Uncle Paddy the Cuddly Curmudgeon
Been chained to this register for years
End
Result: No Fear!
If
you come up to me and act rude
I
will give you the big FUCK YOU
And
there is nothing you can do
Because
everyone in retail hates you too
Let me try to clarify my position
Years
in retail have stripped my inhibition
So
before you bring attitude into OUR PLACE
Be
warned I would love to get in your face
For
years I've been hearing "The Customers Always Right"
Always
from a customer who is wrong and wants to fight
Insincerity gets me through the day
A
defense because you've nothing to say
Even
when I try to be pleasant and say "Hi"
You
don't respond or even meet my eye
You
only speak up when you think you've been robbed
Interestingly
enough you are usually wrong
So remember when you walk into OUR STORE
Taking
your abuse is not what we're for
We
will gladly help you as long as you're nice
Just
understand you are not inherently right
The
adage is true "You Reap What You Sow"
Tread
lightly my friend some of us are ready to blow...
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